New Year, Old Reminders

2019 is rapidly coming to a close. I am, like most of you, reflecting on the year that has passed and looking toward the new one approaching. We’re entering a new year and a new decade. Some people think that makes it a bigger deal than another year transition. However, I remember the big drama of Y2K and that seems like only a blink ago. I turned 45 this year and that has meant for me reaching an age where I really do feel old enough to know better. The good news is I know I’m still young enough to make plenty more mistakes :) “Knowing better” for me means I’ve lived long enough to know that life is really not as complicated as we make it and we are our greatest capacity and resource to live our best life. So, as I transition into 2020, I’m choosing to reflect on lessons learned, take an accounting of all of my blessings, and direct my energy towards using that wisdom for an even richer, fuller, joyful, and meaningful life.

2019 was an amazing year for me! Though there were definitely some hard times and painful lessons learned. Recently, I was listening to a podcast and one of the guests was remarking how all things in life work toward your best good. While I’ve sat with many a client who’s experienced seemingly senseless unfathomable pain and trauma, I think there is some deep wisdom to this bigger picture. Specifically, she said, “Everything is happening for me”. That concept was pivotal for me. I can easily throw a grand ol’ pity party for one when things seem to be not going my way. In those moments, I often think, “Why is this happening to me?”

The reframing of things happening for me was a monumental issuance of grace to me. With this reframing, I’m able to look back at this year and be grateful for even the hard times. With this reframing, I’m able to look forward to next year and wonder how I can leverage the hard times for my benefit so I don’t have to experience them as intensely as before.

In reflection: In 2019, I

  • made a major career change that has turned out to be a great move for me.

In 2019, I also,

  • struggled in parenting my child in a way that she most needs.

All of this good and not-so-good comes with me into 2020. I’m more than good with that. I’m a work in progress. Life is nothing but moments of passing joys and passing challenges. It all makes me human being. A woman evolving. So rather than get caught up in regrets or resolutions, I’m focusing on these reminders to myself as I move into this new year and new decade. I hope some of these resonate with you.

2020 Reminders:

  • Love is always a great first response.

The Dr is N and I want to know: What are you going to remind yourself of in 2020?



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Dr. Nikki Knows

I’m a licensed psychologist with a diverse set of talents: therapist, DEI consultant and trainer, sexologist, writer, podcaster, public speaker.